Mirror mirror on the wall… who’s the BEST mother of them all?!? (Hint.. no one cares)

I am inspired to write this morning, and thankfully the baby is napping and the little dude is VERY lost in “Super Why”, at least for the moment.

So, to my Facebook friend who decided to post yet ANOTHER bragging status about how wonderful her life and children are, I say “thank you”… you irritated me just enough to make me sit down with the laptop instead of enjoying a coffee and a good book for a few minutes.

So, without further ado, I present you with my open letter to all the Facebook mothers.

Dear moms of the social networking world,

I joined Facebook in 2007, and immediately LOVED being able to reconnect with old friends, acquaintances and coworkers.  It was exciting and new and of course we all had to add EVERYONE we’d ever met.. lol.  That didn’t last long, did it?  Within a year I was doing a huge purge.  If I didn’t speak to you at least once a week or have an actual friendship with you, you got the boot.

This left me with about 100 great people that I truly enjoying talking to and keeping up with.  That is, until the pissing contest that is motherhood began to rear its ugly head.  Once my friend list was whittled down I began to take more notice of individuals and what they had to say.  Some people do nothing but whine, we all know a few of those.  Some do nothing but post and share silly photos and “pass it on” type nonsense.  But the ones I really take issue with are the moms who post NOTHING but sparkles and sunshine.  Now don’t get me wrong – I LOVE positive people and I think we should make a point of surrounding ourselves with them – but there are a few who make such a point of only posting how FABULOUS everything is.  Their kids are the smartest, most glorious, gifted, beautiful, polite, athletic, generous gifts the world has ever known.  Their husbands are just BLESSINGS from above who (if you believe the posts) are skipping around the house and yard, fixing leaky pipes, raking leaves, sorting laundry and bringing home roses.. all while grinning ear to ear with rainbows shooting out their ass!

MAGICAL!

Okay, I admit that I do know people with absolutely awesome hubbies, myself included.  I also know some truly great kids, and families that I aspire to be like.  But if you were to look at my Facebook timeline, it wouldn’t look like I’d lifted the script of the Brady Bunch and dropped it in there. Most days THIS is the kind of stuff that’s going on at my house:

Human canvas, compliments of her two year old brother

No one’s life is perfect!  No one’s kids or husband are perfect!  I personally think that by refusing to be real and show your true self you are doing other moms a great disservice.  I cannot tell you how many times I would look at my friends and wonder why I was falling apart when they had EVERYTHING together.

Only now, in hindsight, do I realize that they don’t have everything together… they just refuse to let the cracks show.  I’m not saying that we should all air our dirty laundry – I don’t do that either.  I never post cryptic statuses about a fight with my spouse or the major attitude that I got from my daughter… I try to keep personal issues, politics and religion to an absolute minimum online.  However, if I’m having a totally crappy day?  You’ll read about it!  Kids won’t sleep?  I haven’t showered in two days? I spent two hours cooking and then burnt everything?  I won’t be hiding any of that.  I am real.  I have great days and I have terrrrrrible days.  I post all the awesome stuff too, I am insanely in love with my kids and I get super excited to share good news or funny stories.  But I have three kids, in a small house, and I’m still fighting my way out of Postpartum Depression.  If you’re going to be my friend, I need to see who you really are.  I need to see your joy and your successes, but I need to see beneath that too.  I need people in my life who will not only love and support me at my highest and lowest, but who will allow me to do the same for them.

 

xo B

Comments

  1. Les says

    I just wanted to say that I love your blog!!! I sometimes avoid Facebook these days because it can make me feel worse about my life and abilities because of exactly what you described above. I have 2.5 kids….two little boys who are 3 1/2 and 2 year old and a little girl due in March. Our house is chaos and my boys are WILD!! Motherhood is hard and we need to raise each other up not bring each other down. Thank you for being so real:)

    • says

      Thanks so much, Leslie.. I think it’s so important to support each other. I will keep fighting for it!
      : )
      Thanks for reading.
      B

  2. Marie-Claire Pinder says

    I think you should post this as your status update! I would “share” it so that all those “friends” who drive me nuts will get the hint!

    PS I love your blog!!!

  3. lilly says

    You say this, yet you support the person who is most guilty of doing this, LeAnn Rimes. You go as far as searching out people who criticize her on Twitter and defend her, when she does the sparkles and light act you are so critical of on your own blog and that is the very reason why so many people are critical of her! Doesn’t make sense. Other than that, you look great with dark hair.

    • says

      I have to sat, I really disagree with you. LeAnn complains a LOT about bad days and medical issues. I think she’s actually a great example of someone who shows the good and the bad to the world, but that’s just my humble opinion. Thanks for reading, anyway.. And that hair comment caught me off guard and made me laugh. Thanks for that too! : ) B

      Sent from my iPhone

      • says

        Sorry… Lots of grammar issues there.
        Wrote that from the hospital with my baby girl who got hurt last night.
        Anyway I’m sure you were able to decipher what I was trying to say..

    • says

      Just read both your comments.. Thank you! lol.. I try to tell it like it is!
      And I’m so happy you were able to experience the joy of midwives the second time around.
      Happy to have you here – thanks for reading!
      xoB

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