I am inspired to write this morning, and thankfully the baby is napping and the little dude is VERY lost in “Super Why”, at least for the moment.
So, to my Facebook friend who decided to post yet ANOTHER bragging status about how wonderful her life and children are, I say “thank you”… you irritated me just enough to make me sit down with the laptop instead of enjoying a coffee and a good book for a few minutes.
So, without further ado, I present you with my open letter to all the Facebook mothers.
Dear moms of the social networking world,
I joined Facebook in 2007, and immediately LOVED being able to reconnect with old friends, acquaintances and coworkers. It was exciting and new and of course we all had to add EVERYONE we’d ever met.. lol. That didn’t last long, did it? Within a year I was doing a huge purge. If I didn’t speak to you at least once a week or have an actual friendship with you, you got the boot.
This left me with about 100 great people that I truly enjoying talking to and keeping up with. That is, until the pissing contest that is motherhood began to rear its ugly head. Once my friend list was whittled down I began to take more notice of individuals and what they had to say. Some people do nothing but whine, we all know a few of those. Some do nothing but post and share silly photos and “pass it on” type nonsense. But the ones I really take issue with are the moms who post NOTHING but sparkles and sunshine. Now don’t get me wrong – I LOVE positive people and I think we should make a point of surrounding ourselves with them – but there are a few who make such a point of only posting how FABULOUS everything is. Their kids are the smartest, most glorious, gifted, beautiful, polite, athletic, generous gifts the world has ever known. Their husbands are just BLESSINGS from above who (if you believe the posts) are skipping around the house and yard, fixing leaky pipes, raking leaves, sorting laundry and bringing home roses.. all while grinning ear to ear with rainbows shooting out their ass!
Okay, I admit that I do know people with absolutely awesome hubbies, myself included. I also know some truly great kids, and families that I aspire to be like. But if you were to look at my Facebook timeline, it wouldn’t look like I’d lifted the script of the Brady Bunch and dropped it in there. Most days THIS is the kind of stuff that’s going on at my house:
Human canvas, compliments of her two year old brother
No one’s life is perfect! No one’s kids or husband are perfect! I personally think that by refusing to be real and show your true self you are doing other moms a great disservice. I cannot tell you how many times I would look at my friends and wonder why I was falling apart when they had EVERYTHING together.
Only now, in hindsight, do I realize that they don’t have everything together… they just refuse to let the cracks show. I’m not saying that we should all air our dirty laundry – I don’t do that either. I never post cryptic statuses about a fight with my spouse or the major attitude that I got from my daughter… I try to keep personal issues, politics and religion to an absolute minimum online. However, if I’m having a totally crappy day? You’ll read about it! Kids won’t sleep? I haven’t showered in two days? I spent two hours cooking and then burnt everything? I won’t be hiding any of that. I am real. I have great days and I have terrrrrrible days. I post all the awesome stuff too, I am insanely in love with my kids and I get super excited to share good news or funny stories. But I have three kids, in a small house, and I’m still fighting my way out of Postpartum Depression. If you’re going to be my friend, I need to see who you really are. I need to see your joy and your successes, but I need to see beneath that too. I need people in my life who will not only love and support me at my highest and lowest, but who will allow me to do the same for them.