Yes I can be very dramatic. BUT.. it’s true. A few years ago one of my cousins decided to hire a full time, live in nanny. At first I was all judgy and “oh well aren’t YOU fancy” about it. Then my other cousin, her sister, hired one as well.
I wondered what the world was coming to.. live in nannies?! Who are we, the Trumps?
Then one day, cousin #2 (who also happens to be my very best friend and was the Matron of Honour at my wedding) explained something to me. You see, in any good (read: normal) marriage, there is a healthy dose of resentment. He leaves his socks on the floor. She leaves dishes in the sink. The laundry doesn’t get switched over. The dinner isn’t made on time. As spouses I find my husband and I are constantly BITCHING at each other.
“I just did all the grocery shopping AND did three loads of laundry.. YOU take her to soccer!”
How healthy can that be??!
So cousin #2 patiently explained to me how having this nanny ELIMINATED ALL THE RESENTMENT. How awesome is THAT?!? I never thought of it that way before. The socks are picked up, the laundry is done, the dishes are washed, dinner is made. Sounds pretty sweet to me.
Now of course not many people can afford the live in nanny.. and why would I have one when I am a stay at home mom? lol.. But I learned a lot from that conversation. Resentment is a killer.. a marriage killer. A relationship killer. It builds and spreads like a nasty fungus and if you’re not careful, you’re going to be in trouble.
I’m making a concerted effort to not hold onto those things anymore. The socks, the dishes, the laundry. It all gets done in the end and just about the worst thing you can do is start keeping score. Marriage is a partnership, you’re in it together, and yet so often don’t you find that you’re pitted against one another? That’s not going to do anyone any good, and in the end if your marriage fails don’t both of you end up with a big fat ZERO on that score card?
Peace & love, people. Go kiss your better half!